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View all books of the Bible CHAPTER 4 The Temptation of Jesus. * 1 a Filled with the holy Spirit, * Jesus returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the desert 2 for forty days, * to be tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and when they were over he was hungry. b 3 The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” 4 Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone.’” c 5 Then he took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a single instant. 6 The devil said to him, “I shall give to you all this power and their glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I may give it to whomever I wish. d 7 All this will be yours, if you worship me.” 8 Jesus said to him in reply, “It is written:
If you’re in your thirties, with a wife and kids, but still behave like you’re back at the frat house (you’re wearing a backwards ball cap, you call everyone “Dude” or “Bro”, you think of your wife’s friends as “girls” when they’re 35 year old women, you drink the same brand of beer you drank in college, you procrastinate, you’ve never changed a diaper, never drove your kids to day care or soccer or swimming, because you think that’s the wife’s job), if you have Chinese characters tattooed on your shin, if you live in cargo shorts.